No one ever said it would be this hard

It's hard when you're the one who asked questions. Every single conversation you had to start on so how's today. When there's a special someone in front of you that's waiting to be asked too. i told myself to stay strong, to swallow it, to forget. But how long could a person take on to that situation. Is this how it actually works? Is this a blessing that i've awaited for years? Nobody ever said it would be this hard. Had been years since i wrote this something crying. you're actually good at this naa. Why are you tearing apart again naa? Stop it naa. It hurts so bad that you're nostrils are filled up then you couldn't breathe and suffocate yourself. Thinking how awful you've been dealing this alone. How death feels. While listening to the Scientist, when your ears are blocked. screw this. I messed up